Currently Beyond a Dream By Twila Paris Watch And Pray see related

Watch and pray, no one knows the moment. No one knows the hour or the day

11/13/2009                       7:22pm

I was listening to either KYCC 99.7FM or Pilgrim Radio 91.3FM on the way home from Mary's tonight, and heard Twila Paris!!! I haven't listened to her in years!!! She and a few others who fed my journey with Christ in the beginning.......Sandi Patty, 4HIM, Cherri Keaggy, Point Of Grace, etc. It was so refreshing. The Christian music from the early 90's is so different from today.

I had a nice visit with Mary. She is a former patient of mine whom I cared for last winter. She is fully recovered, but I go to visit and fellowship from time to time. She is a sister in the Lord and a wise woman. I consider her a mentor. She has been a tremendous blessing in my life

I am considering deleting my last Myspace page. I really don't use it anymore. I write more here, Twitter, and Facebook. I don't see much use for Myspace except for music.

Marna has been recovering well from her stroke. I saw her yesterday and she was getting up with assistance and very talkative (but couldn't understand her). They were supposed to remove the feeding tube from her nose and put it in her stomach today. She is still unable to swallow.

Even though the stroke was not good for Marna, it has been a learning experience for me. I can clearly see there is a light at the end of my dark tunnel. There is hope. There is healing.

Mary and I had a great talk. I told her about what God has been doing in my life the past 2 months. He's moving and shaking things up to glorify His blessed Name!!!

I am so sleepy. I have to work tomorrow, so I better get rest. I don't have a day off till next Saturday. Haven't been sleepy too well. Keep dreaming about this one guy. Its not bad dreams. I just don't want him on my mind because I will get attached. And I haven't recovered from the other one breaking my heart and spirit.

Thank you Veterans and Troops for your courage and protection!!!!!!! You are TRUE heroes!!!!!!!

11/11/2009                7:23pm

My patient is doing ok. She seemed to take a turn for the worse on Sunday, but I have been visiting each day and notice an improvement. Its going to be a long road to recovery though. She can't swallow and has a feeding tube. Is able to move both sides of her body and comprehends everything clearly.

I have been trying to comment back to everyone who comments me, but my computer takes me offline when I do that. So, I will just have to answer some things in this post.......

As a PCA (personal care assistant or caregiver), I do a variety of tasks. Help run errands, make sure medications are in daily pill boxes (licensed to do this), help with bathing and grooming, transport to appointments, make meals, light housekeeping, travel companion, take out on day trips, relay information of doctor appointments to family, communicate with family, assist with paperwork, assist with exercises, etc, etc, etc. My patients are all independant walkers. I cannot lift, so I am unable to work with bed-bound or similar situations. This is due to my back problem.......

Five years ago, I lost the ability to walk, drive, sit painlessly, shower alone, etc. I was temporarily in a wheelchair. I had no feeling in my arms or legs from time to time. What caused this? Degenerated discs in my back (from surgery). From June 2004 to August 2004, I didn't know what was wrong with me. When I finally found out, I prayed and asked the Lord what HE was doing with this situation. By March 2005, I was walking. During that down time, I was humbled. And I understood what it feels like to not be able to do certain things. From that experience, I knew what I was to do.

I am still walking. I drive. And do everything on my own. My chiropractor has been a tremendous help. But even he says we don't know how long this will last. The past few months, I have severe tingling and numbness in my arms/hands and my legs. I have been limping a lot. This is due to nerve damage (from the back problem). Its annoying as all heck. But, I deal with it.

I do the job that I do because I don't think elderly are given enough attention. They aren't given the respect they deserve. I have a heart for the elderly.

Have you ever been unable to reconcile a friendship? What happened?

That is exactly what I am dealing with now. After much prayer, I have realized what has turned me so cold. Where my heartache came from.

Given, I have been hurt many times in my life. Mainly from those closest to me. Always trying to gain some ground with my siblings, but not getting far. I have transferred the pain of my siblings hatred and jealousy of me over to my peers.

If my own siblings don't like that fact I was born, how can I get my peers to care? And this has led to a shattered heart and broken spirit.

I have 2 friends who don't speak to me anymore. These are people I trusted and cared about very much. One was like a sister, the other was an inspiration (a muse, like a little brother to me). I was 100% my true honest self with them. I felt more comfortable with them than anyone else EVER in my life.

They didn't stop talking to me at the same time. They don't know each other by the way.......well, they met a couple of times, but thats about it. Anyway, one disappeared from my life. Then, while I am trying to recover from that, the other one disappears

Why did they stop talking to me??? I DO NOT KNOW!!!!!!! And I can't reconcile because they have deleted me from their lives.

This is why I can't smile much anymore. This is why I gave up trusting. This is why I never want to get close to anyone ever again. I can't even tell them how badly they hurt me. And truthfully, they probably don't care.

   

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Currently, what's your favorite song?

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Currently The Pilgrim's Progress (Hendrickson Christian Classics) By John Bunyan see related

twinkle twinkle little star

11/8/2009            7:57pm

I don't feel well right now I don't think I drank enough water today.

I went to The Rock again. Mom wants to take dad to Calvary Chapel next weekend though. I might go to both. We shall see.

I saw my patient, MKY, today. She didn't seem to be doing as well as I thought. She has a feeding tube because she lost her ability to swallow. And when I talked to her family, they said she seemed worse today. Friday and Saturday she was slightly better. I think she suffered another stroke. One thing is certain, I won't be taking care of her for a long time. I will go visit though........by the way, I am a caregiver, not a nurse

So, I guess this means the recession has finally hit me. My finances will be affected. I'm not going to worry. I have been in worse situations.

Today I realized there is someone I am interested in. I thought I was before. He is nice. Always has been. But, I cannot deceive myself again. The last guy was very nice too. I don't believe in "rebound". Even if it is a "rebound crush". I'm not going to lie to myself again and believe that some guy actually likes talking to me. They just pretend to make me feel better and I get tired of being felt sorry for. Its taking me too long to mend this time, so its not worth it to go through it again.

In fact, in the sermon today, they talked about having some one to help you through the next "wave". I wanted to tune everything out after that because I don't have anyone. All these new situations I am dealing with on my own. I don't want to lean on anyone because all they do is lie.